Timberella
by 177624601
Summary: Timmy gets bored one night, so Wanda decides to tell him the true story of "Cinderella."


Cosmo peeked out from behind his hiding place behind one of the statues and peered down one of the castle's many corridors. The search had been going on for an hour. He couldn't see anyone. His wife Wanda had already been found. The silence unnerved him. Suddenly, the little, green hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. "This is it, girl," he whispered to his pet nickel Philip, as he held her close, "the end is probably near." Suddenly, he sensed a presence behind him.

Next thing he knew, a hand grabbed him by the shoulder as a high, shrill voice yelled out "Found you!" With a scream higher and more piercing than a dolphin who has just inhaled an entire canister of helium, he turned around to meet the one who'd been hunting him. As he revolved, he came face-to-face with… his godson, accompanied by Wanda.

"Hi, Timmy! So is this round over? I guess that means I win! Yes, I win! In your face, Wanda! Go, Cosmo! It's your birthday! Yay! Wait, it's my birthday? No wait, that was last week. Where was I? Oh, yeah, it's my turn to count! 1… 2…, uh, 6… By the way, how did you guys find me?"

"Well, you had an entire corridor behind you, for starters." responded Wanda.

"Plus, you were talking to your coin." Added Timmy. "Say, guys, I'm getting kind of bored. What else do you have to do around here?"

"Well, we could end world hunger, stop poverty, bring peace to all nations..."

"Nah, that stuff's boring."

"Did we ever tell you that one of our godchildren was royalty?"

"No."

"Want to hear it?"

"No."

"Please, Timmy. It sounds like it should be a good story."

"You were there, you dunderhead." Scolded Wanda.

"I think I'd remember our own godchildren. Hey, who's that kid with the silly pink hat and buckteeth?"

"That's Timmy!"

"Oh, yeah. Hi, Timmy! Who's she?" He asked, pointing to Wanda.

"Ok, Wanda, you can tell the story, if it helps jog the memory of Bird Brain, here."

"Well, it starts long ago..."

Flashback

A long time ago (I'm not sure when, but it was a couple of centuries ago), back when... uh... that guy... whatshisname... did... that thing. You know the guy I'm talking about, he wore that shirt. Anyhow, as I said, he did that thing and it was received poorly. Or was it well received? Anyhow, the point is it was received and it changed the way we did... that thing. You know what it changed. Anyhow, it was a long time ago, in the town of Dimmesdaleburgvilleshire (wow, that's quite a mouthful) in the country of... oh, I forget the name of the country. That... dish comes from there. You know the one I mean, the one that's really sweet. They used to sell it at that restaurant, the one that closed sometime last year.

Anyhow, there was an extremely well-behaved and beautiful daughter of a local lord. But this isn't her story. Sure makes for a good beginning, though, no? There was also a girl whose father was a poor but well-known woodsman. This is her story (no, not "her" meaning the father, "her" meaning the little girl). Anyhow, the girl lived happily with her doting and attentive parents. Her name was Ella, but her favorite spot was sitting by her father's pile of kindling, so her nickname became "Timberella," which was itself shortened to "Timmy."

Meanwhile, the Prince of... know what? Let's just call him the Prince, or better yet, Prince Tristan. Anyhow, Prince Tristan was lonely. Want to know how lonely he was? The night before, he had a dream where he met the type of girl he wanted most, and she still turned him down. It was because of this dream that his parents suggested he throw a ball. It was only after the ensuing basketball game that they told him to host a dance.

Soon, the town was all a twitter with the news. Not only was it the most fashionable event of the year, but everyone was invited. Unfortunately, there was only enough room on the list for all but one of the names of the citizens of... the land. Now, I could say that Timberella was on the list and that someone else (say, for example, the aforementioned extremely well-behaved and beautiful daughter of a local lord) had to stay at home, but where would the story be? Anyhow, Everyone but Timberella was invited (Well, almost everyone. There was another girl who was uninvited, but that was because of an... incident at the local marketplace involving some watermelons and an oversized dachshund).

"Timmy, Vicky's here! Bye!" Yelled the woodsman as a he and Timberella's mother left for the carriage.

"Bye Mr. and Mrs. Money-I mean Timmy's parents!" Vicky called out. Turning to Timberella, she stated unpleasantly, "Go to bed, twerp!"

"Well, at least she's not making me do chores."

"But before you do that, RESHINGLE THE ROOF!"

"Crud."

Meanwhile, Vicky muttered under her breath, "Lousy, good-for-nothing... wasn't even my fault... lousy dachshund... didn't even get invited... not like I even wanted to go..."

"Not only didn't I get invited to the ball, I can't believe I also got stuck redoing the roof. I must be the saddest kid in all Dimmesdaleburgvilleshire (wow, that's quite a mouthful)."

No sooner had she said that when who should appear, but the Fairly OddParents themselves. "What seems to be the problem, kid?" Wanda asked

"Who are you?"

"I'm Cosmo!"

"And I'm Wanda!"

"And we're," they shouted in tandem as a very fancy and expensive light show came on behind them, "your Fairy Godparents!"

"Riiiiight." Said Timberella.

"You don't believe us?" Wanda asked.

"No."

"But we had the very fancy and expensive light show."

"Ok, then prove it: I wish I could go to the Prince Tristan's dance."

All of a sudden, there was a pink cloud with the word "proof" written in big, gold letters. When it cleared, four white rats that were foaming at the mouth had been turned into four white horses that were foaming at the mouth, a dog was turned into a groom, and a cat had been turned into a coachman. Timberella's rags had been turned into a designer gown, a silly, pink designer tiara, and knockoff pumps.

"Knockoffs?" Timberella asked. "You couldn't spring for designer?"

"What do you think, that we're made of money?"

"Well, if they're not gonna be designer, can you at least make 'em memorable? I wish for glass slippers."

Cosmo waved his wand and Timberella's feet were shrouded in a purple cloud with the words "horticulture" written in big red letters. When it dissipated, her feet were covered in a healthy coating of topsoil and grass. "I said glass slippers!"

"Glass slippers? I thought you said grass slippers." With that, a bright green cloud with orange letters stating "prima donna" covered them. Suddenly, a pair of stylish glass flats adorned Timberella's feet, and Cosmo was wearing the grass slippers. "I'm keeping them!"

"Before I go, I have one question: why are my horses foaming at the mouths?"

"Sorry, kiddo," Wanda stated as she waved her wand. A blue cloud appeared with the writing "Pasteur" appearing in bright purple letters. "Oh, and be home by midnight! Have fun!" she called out after curing the horses.

"And don't eat pickles and ice cream before bed!"

"Cosmo!"

"What? I you were giving her useless advice, why can't I?"

Fortunately for Timberella, she took "Have fun!" as her cue to leave. The trip to the dance would have been a lot shorter had the groom and coachmen not fought so much along the way. When she got there, all eyes were drawn to her. "If I didn't know better, I'd say she looks like our daughter." Said Timberella's mother.

"And if I didn't know better, I'd say she looks like the girl Vicky hires to reshingle our roof." Replied the woodsman.

"Well, whoever she is, she's certainly not our daughter. I know this because we can't afford designer, and would never force her to wear knockoffs."

Timberella and Prince Tristan danced the night away. Before long, midnight came. Of course, owing to the fact that they were ill-fitting knockoffs, one of them fell off as she high-tailed it to the carriage, where she found her coachman halfway up a tree, hissing and swatting at the groom, who was sitting on the ground, barking at his prey.

As soon as she stepped out of the coach, a great gray cloud with big, black letter reading "ha, ha" shrouded the entourage. When it vanished, the coach had been turned back into a pumpkin, the groom and coachman were a dog and cat, respectively; and the four white, non-foaming horses were turned back into four white, foaming rats. As soon as she had climbed into bed, she heard Vicky call out, "TWE-I mean Timmy, your parents are home. YOU'D BETTER BE IN BED!"

"Yes, twe- we mean Timmy, we're home!" called out the woodsman and his wife in unison.

"Have a pleasant evening, Mr. and Mrs. Money-I mean Timmy's parents." She said in her most sickeningly sweet voice. Calling to Timberella's room, she added, "see you later, twe-I mean Timmy. Mwa-ha-ha-ha!" Out of nowhere, a lighting bolt tore across the sky.

The next morning, Prince Tristan and his herald, Victor, set off across the land. Finally, they arrived at the home of the woodsman and his family. Timberella (in spite of Victor's protestations to Prince Tristan that she was "one of the unpopular kids") slipped the thing on with ease. "But your highness, she's unpopular!" Victor cried out, all the while thinking, _my love for her burns with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns._

"So what's it like to be with Prince Tristan all the time?" asked the woodsman.

"I AM PRINCE TRISTAN!" Victor cried as he slapped on a wig in Prince Tristan's hairstyle.

End flashback

"... and they all lived happily ever after. The end." Said Wanda.

"It's so sad!" Cosmo cried out.

"Whaddya mean? They got married and everything."

"Not that. I have... a PIMPLE!" he replied, pointing at a rather large blemish on his nose.

"Wait a cotton-picking minute, your story sounds almost exactly like 'Cinderella.'" Timmy objected.

"Well, that's what happens when Cosmo drafts up a copyright contract." Wanda stated, resigned.

"Oh, come on, they promised me a shiny new penny!"


End file.
